The Result of Boredom so Boring it Can't be Said
by Jessa9
Summary: Yes. I am very bored, and own a computer with Microsoft Word and the 'net, and this is what happenes when I am bored. I come up with stuff like... this...


DISCLAIMER: Anything you recognize from the X-Files doesn't belong to me.

[MULDER is sitting at his desk, attempting to cut the top part off of a marker because he wants to see what's inside. SCULLY is typing up a report on the computer, looking extremely annoyed. MULDER does not appear to notice. SCULLY is suddenly curious as to what exactly MULDER is doing when he *should* be typing his report as well]

SCULLY: Mulder, what are you *doing*?

MULDER: What does it look like I'm doing?

SCULLY: It looks like you're cutting your marker to pieces.

MULDER: Well, then that must be what I'm doing!

SCULLY: Okay, I'll rephrase my question. *Why* are you cutting your marker into pieces?

MULDER: I wanna see what's inside. Duh! Why *else* would I cut a marker apart?

SCULLY: (sighs) (rolls eyes)

[MULDER resumes working on getting the plastic casing off the marker. He finally succeeds, and, while letting out a "victory cry" squeezes the spongy thing inside (A/N: Trust me, the marker ink holder thingamabob is spongyish. I've done this before, I should know. Hehe.) Of course, the spongy thing holds marker ink, so MULDER ends up getting marker ink all over everything on his desk.]

MULDER: GOSH DARN IT! (looks confused) (tries again) GOSH DARN IT! (looks even more confused)

SCULLY: I think the author is trying to keep this rated "G".

MULDER: Oh. I see. Well, that sucks.

SCULLY: Well, you wouldn't have felt the *need* to swear if you had just done your report instead of—(MULDER squeezes marker ink all over SCULLY's computer) GOSH DARN IT MULDER! WHY THE HECK DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND TO THAT?!? (looks confused) (realizes) GOSH DARN IT!

MULDER: See? You see how annoying it is?

SCULLY: MULDER I'M GONNA KICK YOUR APP! …what? App? What does app have to do with anything?

MULDER: (shrugs)

SCULLY: Well, *some people* could at least tell us why the frick (glares) we say app instead of app (exasperated sigh)!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Have you ever, prior to this, tried to say "app" without moving your tongue?

MULDER: Uh, no. And, by the way, miss author person, at least, assuming that's who you are, haven't you always appeared as a teenage girl named Jaenie before now? 

DISEMBODIED VOICE: (shrugs) Yeah, but I got tired of the restrictions of being a person.

SCULLY: You're a voice! You can't *shrug*!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Don't you want to believe, Scully?

MULDER: Uh, no, that's me, miss voice ma'am.

SCULLY: (sob) Y'know Mulder, sometimes *I* want to believe too!

MULDER: Well, you don't want to *now*!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Well, interesting as this all is, I believe that you wanted to know why you say app instead of *a-hem* the A-word?

SCULLY: Yeah. Why?

DISEMBODIED VOICE: *Because*, Scully, when you say "app" without moving your tongue it sounds like the… (drumroll) A-word!

MULDER: That's *it*?!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Yeah, that's about it.

SCULLY: You dragged us into *another* fanfic so that you could make Mulder do something dumb, annoy both of us by censoring our words, and tell us that when you say "app" without moving our tongues it will sound like app?!? (sighs) I mean, the A-word?

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Yeah, that's about it. I'm bored, what'd you expect? Something you might *actually* see on the show?

MULDER: We have a show?

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Oops.

SCULLY: I want my lawyer! Nobody told me anything about a *show*!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Um, uh, let's see… On the count of pi, no, wait, three, you will forget any of this ever happened! (smiles brightly)

MULDER: (wonders) the count of pi?

SCULLY: She said *three*, Mulder, and, miss voice, voices *can't* smile, let alone smile brightly!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: It's *my* fanfic and I can do whatever I want! Now, one, two, THREE!

[There's a puff of smoke, and suddenly MULDER is back where he started on his marker, and SCULLY is somewhat backwards on her report.]

MULDER: Huh? What?

SCULLY: What?

MULDER: Whoa… nevermind… I just had the *strangest* daydream…

SCULLY: Sure. Fine. Whatever.

MULDER: Let's go kill Krycek again. Boy, I hate that guy.

SCULLY: Okie.

THE END

A/N: I'm sure you've noticed that I like to use asterisks (*) instead of bold/italics for emphasis. There's no particular reason, I just like it better, for some unknown… reason. That made no sense whatsoever. Oh well, can't win them all. I'm BORED with a capital B-O-R-E-D! This is the result of said boredom. Ugh… I need something to do, badly. Will anyone out there have pity on me and give my *something* to write about? Please? I'll be good, I promise! (angelic smile) I'm so bored I couldn't even come up with a creative disclaimer. Yeesh.


End file.
